{"id":438,"date":"2020-09-09T09:13:49","date_gmt":"2020-09-09T15:13:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/educationispowerful.net\/?p=438"},"modified":"2021-07-09T18:06:23","modified_gmt":"2021-07-10T00:06:23","slug":"two-by-ten-strategy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/educationispowerful.net\/two-by-ten-strategy\/","title":{"rendered":"Two by Ten Strategy for Building Positive Relationships with Students"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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You can dramatically change the behavior of your hardest students using the two by ten strategy by spending just two minutes a day for ten days talking to students about what interests them.<\/span><\/p>

I started my career in education teaching in an alternative setting.\u00a0 95% of my students were youth in the custody of the state.\u00a0 At the time we were the step between the youth correctional facility and being able to go home.\u00a0 Most students lived with proctor (foster) parents and group homes.\u00a0 If they were successful with us, they could be released to go home.\u00a0 Though this wasn\u2019t in an \u201cinstitutional\u201d facility and we were a public school within our district.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Building Positive Relationships with Students<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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The school philosophy centered around building positive relationships with students.\u00a0 Many of these students did not have positive relationships with teachers or adults in authority.\u00a0 It became our mission to change that belief and experience so that we could even have a chance of helping them change the direction of their life.<\/span><\/p>

We taught long classes, around 80 minutes each.\u00a0 My principal would say \u2013 I would rather you had 60 good minutes with 20 minutes of chatting than 80 minutes of struggle.\u00a0 Looking back, I now realize that he was giving me permission to take the time to build relationships with students.<\/span><\/p>

And believe me \u2013 I leaned on those relationships.\u00a0 One student was having a rough day and the substitute called me.\u00a0 I was able to talk the student down, make a plan for what he would (and wouldn\u2019t) do that day, and de-escalate a situation that could have been much worse \u2013 all because of the relationship I had with that student.<\/span><\/p>

But how does a traditional teacher find time to do this?\u00a0 We certainly can\u2019t (and shouldn\u2019t) take 20 minutes out of every class period to build relationships with students.<\/span><\/p>

Enter the two by ten (2\u00d710) strategy.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The Two by Ten Strategy<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Ginsbery & Wlodkowski, in their 2004 book Creating Highly Motivated Classrooms for All Students, describe the two by ten strategy as this: \u201cthe staff member has a two-minute conversation with a student for 10 consecutive days, talking nothing about school or work.\u00a0 Once the 10 consecutive days have passed, the two individuals can talk about anything else they want, including school performance.\u201d (Fisher & Frey, Engagement by Design. 2018. p. 20-21).<\/span><\/p>

Now, to be honest \u2013 this is HARD!\u00a0 Two whole minutes for ten days straight.\u00a0 (And I don\u2019t know that I was ever able to do it that consistently.)<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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How to Implement the Two by Ten Strategy<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Once I moved into more traditional classrooms, I would say that on average I would have 2-3 students who would fall into the category of being students I worried about or students who had severe behavior issues.\u00a0 These were students that I desperately needed to build relationships with.<\/span><\/p>

Could I carve out 2 minutes a day to build a relationship with them?\u00a0 Definitely.\u00a0 I could chat with them at the beginning or end of class.\u00a0 Maybe pull them aside during the starter or independent work time.<\/span><\/p>

I have used this strategy with my own students many times.\u00a0 For me, the cue would be that I was getting frustrated or upset with students.\u00a0 But the minute I dreaded seeing a student walk into my room \u2013 that was when I needed to work on my relationship with them.<\/span><\/p>

One of the hardest things about the two by ten strategy is not talking about school. Like at all.\u00a0 I mean, that\u2019s what I do \u2013 I\u2019m a teacher.\u00a0 I talk about school.\u00a0 So, it really made me dig deep, ask good questions, and really get to know the student.\u00a0 I had to remember what they were interested in or talked about.\u00a0 I started paying attention to their music, their t-shirts, the things they mentioned in class.\u00a0 Anything.\u00a0 Anything to have a topic to bring up with them later.<\/span><\/p>

And do you know what it did?\u00a0 It reminded me that these kids are kids.\u00a0 They are more than the bad behavior I saw in my class.<\/span><\/p>

And sometimes, that is exactly what I needed to remember.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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What I Learned<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I learned that one student worked nights to help support his family because his mom was a single mom and they didn\u2019t know where their dad was.\u00a0 So the next time he slept in class or was rude to me, I knew it was because he probably got very little sleep and was worrying about money.\u00a0 Knowing that changed my perspective on his behavior and my underlining attitude towards him.\u00a0 I spoke differently with that student and in turn, he spoke differently to me.\u00a0 Did it solve the problem?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 He still had to work.\u00a0 He was still tired.\u00a0 But we didn\u2019t have any negative exchanges.<\/span><\/p>

If we go back to my students who were at the alternative school, they had such negative experiences with adults in authority.\u00a0 By using this strategy and building relationships with them I became an advocate and an ally to them, rather than an authority figure exerting my will upon them.<\/span><\/p>

They trusted me and they respected me because I showed I cared about them and respected who they were \u2013 I wasn\u2019t only concerned with good behavior in class.\u00a0 I showed them that I was interested in what they were interested in.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Why does this matter?<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Fisher and Frey say in Engagement by Design (2018) that \u201cwithout feeling accepted or safe, it is impossible [for students] to give their full attention to learning\u201d (p. 23).<\/span><\/p>

Ultimately, as a teacher, I want students to learn.\u00a0 I want them to achieve their dreams and goals in life and I believe education is the path to achieving that.\u00a0 But if students in my room don\u2019t feel accepted, safe, repeated, and trusted \u2013 how can they do that to their full capacity?<\/span><\/p>

Some people may say that they always look for understanding the why behind a student\u2019s behavior.\u00a0 And I say, good for you!\u00a0 But in reality, I have class sizes of 38-42 on average and I don\u2019t always get to those thoughts because I am overwhelmed by it all.<\/span><\/p>

So, carve out a little bit of time each day, choose a student you want to build a relationship with, and test it out. You\u2019ll be surprised at what a difference it makes.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Links for More Information:<\/span><\/p>